The Future?

How's it going everyone? It's certainly been a bit of a rollercoaster recently here!

We are still here trying to save every penny to get a house but it definitely isn't easy when you don't earn a lot. We have already had to cancel our wedding and lose a fair amount of money on that which put us back quite a bit but slowly and surely we will get there! There are much more important things and putting a permanent roof over Reuben's head is numero uno.

I must admit I do worry about some silly things sometimes and I have good days and bad days but then coming home to my family certainly perks me up and I do realise how lucky I am. I just get frustrated with myself and feel like I have failed as a father sometimes because I admit our scenario isn't ideal as we still live with my parents and our Roo (They are amazing and a great help to be fair and we would have nothing without them!) We are just struggling to get anywhere as it seems to be one setback after another.

As a parent I guess you only want what is best for your kids. My Mum certainly gave up a lot to make sure Natalie (my sister) and I had everything we needed and it makes you realise a few things. You soon realise who is really there for you and not just for the attention of a scrummy newborn who they show some temporary feeling for! A lot has changed recently and sometimes I just want to take my family away and just stay there so no one can either bother us or let us down.

Reuben has been under the weather recently and suffered with croup which has made his breathing difficult leading to a disrupted sleep pattern. I have become a very light sleeper since he was born and also being in the same room as him leaves me on edge most of the night. The slightest noise I hear I am pretty much up and out of bed making sure he is alright (without waking him up of course!) I have had quite a few sleepless nights, not that I mind at all but when he is asleep it can become tiring rather quickly and start to seep into my working life. I admit I am not the most patient of people when I haven't slept well and I sometimes feel like I am doing a rubbish job at being a Daddy if he is sick or unwell as I blame myself!

I admit we do struggle from time to time but we do have a gorgeous smiley little boy to be thankful for and we certainly wouldn't change it for the world! I do feel EXTREMELY lucky for who I have around me and they are all amazing people!

I think it 100% helps to share your experiences and fellow bloggers have certainly given me some great advice recently. Remember having children is a life changer and sometimes you can't see beyond your own point of view so don't be afraid to talk to someone! I would love to hear from you.